At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
