ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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