wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
