So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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