i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
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Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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