can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Pants are for mortals
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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