the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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