my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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