I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I did not marry a roomba.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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