For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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