I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Randomize
