like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My dick has a subreddit
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
