Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
