naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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