Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
