You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
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If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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