It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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