My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Actions speak louder than pants.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
