they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment