I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.