your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
