Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.