Ketchup is God's man juice
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.