i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
