I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
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Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
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Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."