i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This is the high leading the old right now
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
