apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
