I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize