Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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