Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You pole danced in your parka.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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