i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i need some magic done to my vagina
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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