Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
