I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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