I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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