Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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