Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
