You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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