You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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