I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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