My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?