You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
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yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
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New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.