My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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