Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me