trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Semen is not good for contacts.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
