...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
