somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
