My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize