If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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