I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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