Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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