fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
