just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
