Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
