Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
