A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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