just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
