Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
