people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
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We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
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Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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