Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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