i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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