Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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