weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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