He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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