So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
