id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize