u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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