so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize